E-goes on and on

It is not just those of us that have that creative inclination that suffer most acutely. And there is no doubt that we are not the only creatures that are creative, obtusely, perhaps this eludes to a subjective response-'it depends on what is considered creative. Sometimes survival is the most creative thing I can think to do. It is speculated, even assumed, that humans have a greater capacity for empathy, case point-you reading this-we have a disturbing desire to understand each others experience-even if for selfish reasons. This so-called deeper sense of something and someone else is nothing short of a relief. We have saved each other from harm countless times, we have relieved the burden of others as well as consoled and comforted other souls in our days, if for nothing else other than the altruistic feeling-relief for the suffering, the pride of the savior, the nobility of caring, the power of human connections.

Deep listening, according to Buddhist principles, is when we try to hear more than what is being said, when we listen for more than just the words or sounds another person makes. Deep listening is an attempt to drain the well with just-made bed silence, drill the tiniest hole, take out all of the emotions that do not mix, extract the energies and hold the tangible existence of what this person has created, deep listening is an all-in type of sport that simply is no longer played and thus nobody knows the rules after this many distractions and centuries stacking up between each other.

Perhaps by giving love without expecting reimbursement, like a smile that sneaks up on us when we are completely alone, we can change the inside expression by creating an outside expression and thus increase our own wealth of self-worth exponentially. We do it before we feel it-then we feel it-like we mean it-and then genuinely mean it more by remembering the numerous reasons to smile, freely, donating false faces because the conditions require only contentedness. Happy and content is a difference in wattage, like when someone says, ‘Your smile lights the room’, they find what they are looking for and avoid the dark parts. This is the give and take of love. Someone holds the light while the other searches. It’s like the connection shared between the moon and the earth, except the moon is drifting imperceptibly slowly away. So adverbial. The pull on us is getting weaker.

To rise a rung on the ladder, to increase our altitude, to ascend the homo sapiens sapiens switchback to the peak of potential, to spin faster than everybody else-to bulge the seas, we defy the laws of physics and shatter our perceptions of known truths. Fear is inherent, built in to the unknown equations that equal X, marking the spot, the (G)TOE is a zero-sum approximation of all things that are immeasurable defines limitations. This terror, a rush of it, rises higher and higher the more we squint our eyes thinking we are blinded by the sun, but it is only a reflection from Prometheus, we are obscured from seeing victory complete its task. These are acts of bravery or simply a belief in miracles.

I suppose we all wonder why the voice of our ego can be so discouraging and cruel. The ego gnaws on the knuckles of the feeding hand. Whose team are they on? And who raised the little nagging brat?! When left unchecked and feral, this little foul-mouthed, opinionated and accusatory voice is relentless. Ravenous, tenacious and corrosive, like cancer, garbage in garbage out, the ego still does not know how to get the best out of us. We all hope nobody can see this inner dialog and how much of it has taken over the inside of our bodies. And it is no longer a matter of mind, the mind that matters is the one you ignore because you are too busy trying to make the ego satisfied with your hustle. But I know the ego will never be happy stuck inside belittling me, being little me. While I am busy creating it is recreating and the difference between conception and perception is as different as night and day, inside and out or outside in. That is where the creativity seeps in, the grey area between your ears.  

Painting by William Merritt Chase [Public domain].