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The Stone Cold Truth about Sobriety

Image portrait of Dionysus, Ulrich Luckhardt, Uwe M. Schneede (Hrsg.) 1909


Wanna know the truth? The stone cold truth? Life is torture much of the time, at least that’s what I always thought. Maybe I’m doing this all wrong? What’s wrong with me? 
The soaring moments of happiness that feel like walking on air, down to the darkest plunges that leave you in physical pain-moping in your mire, and no, I’m not bi-polar, or any other psychological label, I’m just a human who is trying to find balance.

As a fellow human, whether you agree or not about the level of difficulty involved with life, you will likely agree that “blowing off steam” is a necessity!  Letting your hair down, kicking up your heals, throwing caution to the wind- it feels good! Everything is so serious all the time, like a matter of life and death.  
In the US, like many other places, drinking alcohol is the socially accepted way “blow off steam” and vent your hot air. It’s silly that the legal drinking age is 21, I've never seen or met anyone who waited until then to get drunk. And let’s be honest, since this is about the stone cold truth, getting drunk is the goal, unless you’re part of a select percentage that love the flavor. Again, let’s be honest, even connoisseurs that love the flavor have adapted their taste buds, essentially a game to “decode” the flavors. Mind over matter.

The great thing about alcohol is that drinking doesn’t prefer anyone, it is a completely unprejudiced activity open to all, age/sex/class/religion/race etc...(thanks to the end of prohibition in the US- as if that stopped people from drinking).  
Drinking and culture quite often go together as well, since most nations mainstream populations know the drinking habits of other nations (or think they do), it's important to know about Russians and their vodka, Mexico and tequila, French wine snobs, and German steins.  So if you don’t drink (or can’t) in a society where drinking is not just part of your cultural identity but considered necessary for staying “sane” in this crazy world, does that make you a culture-less crazy person? Probably…
There is this saying about religious fervor that says "there is no one more devout than a born again", and the same goes for the whole AA clan members.  Not the 12 steps process (we all need a ladder or leg up sometimes), but counting the days and saying them every opportunity, collecting meaningless plastic chips, being babysat by a sponsor, and all the while screaming “sobriety is the best thing ever –where/when is the next meeting?”  Most of these people don’t just fall off the wagon, they get run over by it too, its a battle for many. Mind over matter.

For those in my generation, born in the 70’s, you likely watched your parents dabble with drugs and alcohol, or like mine they did much more than dabble.  Dare I say, it actually made me a better person I think.  Shoot-no child wants to be like their parents. Don’t think I’m a prude, I dabbled, quite a bit, but my deal with alcohol was unique and not a dabble but a dunk.

Now I’m approaching 40, and I’ve been sober for a bit- 2 years or so. I didn’t quit drinking because I had a problem, but I did quit and did have a problem.  My insides (engine/organs) began treating alcohol for what it is, essentially a poison, and nearly killed me.  I can’t take another sip of alcohol or I’d end up in the ER (if lucky), but that’s like sleeping with your rapist anyway, no thank you! I apologize if that offends any victims of rape, since using that analogy is “off limits” for celebrities, I’m just me expressing my opinion as a nobody.  

There was no AA for me, although the recruits are relentless. It was cold turkey thing, I guess, and a bit of morphine for the pain from my engine troubles.  I used to think I should avoid social “drinking” situations, but I didn’t need to even if it was possible to do-living under a rock is lonely.  Becoming sober is sobering. 
There are of course the physical side effects, like a complete memory of the previous night, you have an appetite in the morning, you can taste food differently, and you can feel everything-emotionally and mentally. Mind over matter.
Of course "life is like a box of chocolates", any Gump knows that , and I guess being sober makes you appreciate the chocolate itself and the surprise inside, because you don’t know if you like it until, well, you get it.
Being sober is more difficult than drinking but its also a lot easier too.  Weighing the pros and cons is always a useful technique to look at both sides, as it relates to the everyday realities of being sober;

Cons

  • Dorkiness-less filled with liquid libido, keeping your nerve, and being the only one without a buzz in a room is almost like a ‘trip’ itself.
  • Dating-is over. Don’t quit drinking unless you’re in a committed relationship ;)
  • Distortion of Sound- being sober means music enjoyment isn’t elevated, not every song that’s loud is your favorite song, in fact some are just stupid.  You’re drinking friends will make you deaf shouting at you like its normal conversation-beware of spraying instead of saying.
  • Impotent-Since most important occasions are marked with a sip of something special, and you aren’t anymore, the whole ritual is awkward-“Cheers!”

Pros

  • No more hangovers or rank breath (or skin)!
  • Saving $$
  • Drive whenever I want (and don’t want)
  • I know who really loves me
  • Amazing sleep
  • I have energy, hope, and genuine optimism (for real-bad days are just that-a bad 24 hour period of your life).  
  • The only thing I forget is-what's a "regret"? 


This blog was inspired by an article by Beth Liepholtz on the Thought Catalog.


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